Horoscopes for October 7, 2011

If today is your birthday: It’s your birthday!   Everyone will ask you if you feel older. most of them have no clue that it is your birthday. You just have that look today. Capricorn (December 22 – January 20) Friday! Yay! You made it. Now let’s see if you can make it to Monday. Good luck. Aquarius (January 21 – February 18) Avoid geese. It is a long story. But it boils down to something you did in a past life. There are just some things that you have to take on faith. Pisces (February 19 – March 20) Plan for a wonderful day. You won’t get it, but you may be able to sell of those happy day supplies for something really useful, like a stun gun to use on overly happy people. Aries (March 21 – April 19) At the first sign of a communication breakdown, call for a group hug. That should fix everything. Taurus (April 20 – May 20) Right, Right, Left, Up, Down, Right. Gemini (May 21 – June 20) Brave men will cower at your feet. Cancer (June 21 – July 22) Join a cult. We know that seems old fashioned these days, but they do still exist. Leo (July 23 – August 22) Keep your eyes on the road. Your horoscope can wait till you are stationary and not preoccupied. Virgo (August 23 – September 22) The battle of the millennium will go down in your front yard tonight. Better pick up some concessions. Libra (September 23 – October 22) Practice you shocked face. Scorpio (October 23 – November 21) Running away is a highly under-rated viable option. Remember this when things go awry later. Sagittarius (November 22 – December 21) Go up to random people and give them your business card. You do have business cards right? Our 2 year old neighbor has business cards, just saying.]]]]> ]]>