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Just Plain Fun

Horoscopes for May 4, 2011

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If today is your birthday: It’s your birthday!  The stars are aligning to push things in your favor. Don’t push back and ruin it. Capricorn (December 22 – January 20) Today, you will say ‘quit’, ‘stop’, ‘don’t’ and ‘go play’ 42% more than normal. Aquarius (January 21 – February 18) All day long, you’ll be plagued by the sudden thought, “Did I leave the gas on?” Even though your apartment is totally electric. Pisces (February 19 – March 20) Today may not be the day to talk about your hemorrhoids on Facebook. Aries (March 21 – April 19) You can handle anything with enough sprinkles. Taurus (April 20 – May 20) Your boss will not buy your claim that your eyes were closed because your were “lost in thought.” Gemini (May 21 – June 20) The lottery is within your grasp, or at least was until you washed the ticket. Cancer (June 21 – July 22) Don’t argue today. Just laugh and walk away. Everyone will think you are deranged and avoid you for the rest of the day. Leo (July 23 – August 22) The important question of the day is: If you could fly, who would you poop on first. Virgo (August 23 – September 22) You will look around today and wonder why we are all in a hand basket. Libra (September 23 – October 22) Today’s mistakes are tomorrow’s great stories. You’re really going to laugh tomorrow! Scorpio (October 23 – November 21) Resist the urge to catch up on your chores today, the couch misses you. Sagittarius (November 22 – December 21) Don’t even bother, nobody else will either.]]]]> ]]>

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