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Just Plain Fun

Horoscopes for March 4, 2011




If today is your birthday: Its your birthday, do something to make yourself feel special. We would dress in a sparkly, glittery tutu and have a private recital for yourself. Capricorn (December 22 – January 20) You will be let down in a big way today. We told you that bungee jumping isn’t a good idea. Aquarius (January 21 – February 18) Let someone else do the cooking. Someone who knows that blackened and burnt are totally different. Pisces (February 19 – March 20) Stay away from the noodles. Aries (March 21 – April 19) Just when you thought you had it all figured out, you realize you forgot to carry the one.   Taurus (April 20 – May 20) Get ready for a really nice, quiet dinner at home. Yum, hamburger helper. Gemini (May 21 – June 20) If you are what you eat, skip the chicken. You will need all of your courage to face today. Cancer (June 21 – July 22) Live it up today because tomorrow, you’ll never live it down. Leo (July 23 – August 22) You will run into an old friend from school. All of the traumatizing memories will rush back like it all happened yesterday. We assumed that age would alter your reaction. No such luck, pee pee pants. Virgo (August 23 – September 22) Every few steps, you should look up. Kamikaze cardinals are looking for unsuspecting victims. Libra (September 23 – October 22) You should announce your plans and thoughts to everyone today. For example: “I am about to go to the bathroom”, “I have completed all of my work and will now ride the clock, surfing dating sites”, “I think Margie is a doodie-head” and “If you smell that, it was me.” Scorpio (October 23 – November 21) You should stop by the hardware store and pick up duct tape, bailing wire and WD40. We are about to activate our horribly complicated yet beautifully crafted plan to take over the world. Sagittarius (November 22 – December 21) You should start writing an epic ballad about the love you shared with Alejandro. We know how much you loved him, but little people don’t like to be patted on the head.]]]]> ]]>

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