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Just Plain Fun

Horoscopes for March 25, 2011

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If today is your birthday: It’s your birthday! Go crazy! SORRY! TYPO! You will go crazy. Now. That’s better. Capricorn (December 22 – January 20) You’ll have to take your share of the pie today. The lady who let it cool on her window will be angry, though. Aquarius (January 21 – February 18) Be careful when crying wolf. If you really want attention you should dress up in a clown suit. Pisces (February 19 – March 20) You will meet your first mime today. You will spend half of the day trying to get him to talk before realizing that it’s only a mannequin. Aries (March 21 – April 19) Stand your ground. If you give in to that snarling Doberman, you will never reclaim your yard. Taurus (April 20 – May 20) Eat your veggies. The extra green in you system may help combat your red, blotchy skin. Gemini (May 21 – June 20) If you stand in front of the mirror long enough, your reflection will get bored and walk away. Cancer (June 21 – July 22) Due to a strange accident involving an ice cube, a fork and a stray electrical wire, you will be unable to ever taste chocolate again. To avoid this situation – for the rest of your life – you must run away whenever you hear “The Macarena.” Leo (July 23 – August 22) If you believe hard enough, you will grow fairy wings and fly away. Virgo (August 23 – September 22) Once you get going today, you’ll be nearly unstoppable. The key to this is the “get going” part. Might we suggest jumper cables. Libra (September 23 – October 22) Everyone will remark at your awesomeness. You will be at the center of much praise and adulation. Then, you’ll wake up and read this horoscope. This has been a play by play of your day, thus far. Scorpio (October 23 – November 21) You will meet a beautiful stranger who will walk straight up to you. All you will be able to do is stand there as stiff as a board, drooling with your mouth wide open. Good job. Now, wipe your chin. Sagittarius (November 22 – December 21) Every rose has it’s thorn. Today, even the thorns will have thorns.]]]]> ]]>

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