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Just Plain Fun

Horoscopes for March 2, 2011

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If today is your birthday: It’s your birthday and you should celebrate by going sky diving. If you do it wrong, nobody will criticize you. Capricorn (December 22 – January 20) Smile even though your heart is breaking. The alternative is breaking someone’s neck and that will lead to a roommate named Bertha. Nobody wants that. Aquarius (January 21 – February 18) You have a small amount of adjusting to do before you can fit in with the popular kids. We suggest going for the full reconstructive option. Pisces (February 19 – March 20) Stand up for what you believe in. Unless the roof is really low, then crouch for what you believe in. Aries (March 21 – April 19) Don’t be so judgmental today. Tomorrow, however, that is a good day for some judging.   Taurus (April 20 – May 20) You should take a little down time. How this will be different from any other day, we have no clue. Gemini (May 21 – June 20) You need a hobby to fill your spare time. We have always wanted to swallow fire. Maybe you would enjoy that too. Cancer (June 21 – July 22) All your dreams will come true. Then you woke up and read your horoscopes. That is the play by play of your day so far. Leo (July 23 – August 22) If at first you don’t succeed, wait 6 weeks for the cast to come off and try to talk some other idiot into trying it. Virgo (August 23 – September 22) This is going to be the greatest day ever… for someone else. Libra (September 23 – October 22) You will spend the weekend seeing double. Scorpio (October 23 – November 21) You will have to eat your words. They will be tasty, but needs salt. Sagittarius (November 22 – December 21) You think you have it all figured out, but you really only know enough to mess it up bad enough to make the repair really expensive.]]]]> ]]>

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