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Just Plain Fun

Horoscopes for June 4, 2011

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If today is your birthday: It’s your birthday!  You will be showered with dozens and dozens of roses today. Of course, we won’t tell anybody that you sent them all to yourself. Capricorn (December 22 – January 20) We have discovered a black hole here on Earth. It is centered near you today and will devour all of your creative juices. You might as well stay home and eat cheetos. Aquarius (January 21 – February 18) Crying about your problems will only give you red puffy swollen eyes. Can you really afford that? Pisces (February 19 – March 20) Tiny men from outter space will invade today. They are tiny, so there is no real threat, but wear shoes for a few days cause their pointy heads will poke you in the foot and make you say really bad words. Aries (March 21 – April 19) Saturn is entering your sign which means that you get to bask in the shadows today. Hey, at least there’s shade. Taurus (April 20 – May 20) You get to smell that new car smell today! It will make you a little sad that it is the new car of your best friend who gets everything that you want, but at least you got a sniff. Gemini (May 21 – June 20) We heard what you heard and just want to go on record to say that it is all lies. Cancer (June 21 – July 22) Remember that time that you totally saved the day and everybody gathered around just hoping to get the chance to touch your clothes? Neither do we, but it’s a nice dream. Leo (July 23 – August 22) You are on the edge of the cliff and all of your hopes, dreams and aspirations lay at the bottom. You just have to have the courage to take the plunge. Virgo (August 23 – September 22) Be kind to the less fortunate today, tomorrow that will be you panhandling for burgers. Libra (September 23 – October 22) Every now and then you have an idea so brilliant that it blows our mind into a billion pieces. Thank the stars that our mind is safe today. Scorpio (October 23 – November 21) This day is going to give you a punch in the belly welly, drop an atomic elbow on top of you and give you an uncling. Sagittarius (November 22 – December 21) Stop walking now. You have reached your destination. Isn’t it glamorous?]]]]> ]]>

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