Horoscopes for January 22, 2011

If today is your birthday: Smile at everyone you meet today. They’ll wonder what you’re up to. Capricorn (December 22 – January 20) Knowledge is power and knowing is half the battle. Aquarius (January 21 – February 18) Puttin’ on the Ritz is not referring to the crackers.  Pisces (February 19 – March 20) Your future will be spelled out in a bowl of soup.  Aries (March 21 – April 19) Even though your heart is singing, you should not.  Taurus (April 20 – May 20) You were abducted by aliens last night. You don’t remember what happened, but we won’t tell anyone.  Gemini (May 21 – June 20) I see you curled up in a blanket on the couch for the night.  Cancer (June 21 – July 22) Don’t argue today. Just laugh and walk away. Everyone will think you are deranged and avoid you for the rest of the day.  Leo (July 23 – August 22) Only you can prevent the overuse of cute little cartoon animals.  Virgo (August 23 – September 22) Don’t walk around doing you Elvis impersonation today. Nobody thinks you’re cute. Libra (September 23 – October 22) Explore your curious side, pick your friend’s nose.  Scorpio (October 23 – November 21) Bob, we know where you live.  Sagittarius (November 22 – December 21) The cosmos are plotting against you. There is no protection against that.]]]]> ]]>