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Just Plain Fun

Horoscopes for February 17, 2011

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If today is your birthday: Revenge is a dish best served cold. Go sit in the fridge for a few hours. Capricorn (December 22 – January 20) Gather a jar of peanut butter, 2 paper clips and duct tape. We’ll send you the rest of the details telepathically. Aquarius (January 21 – February 18) Have a good laugh today. Go out and watch all the dumb people with smart phones. Pisces (February 19 – March 20) You don’t have to make your own mistakes. You can learn form those who have taken your advice. Aries (March 21 – April 19) Today’s mistakes are tomorrow’s great stories. You’re really going to laugh tomorrow!   Taurus (April 20 – May 20) Make sure that unicorn is just a donkey with a plunger stuck to it’s face.   Gemini (May 21 – June 20) Don’t be disappointed when you see a Kia Soul and it isn’t driven by a hamster. Cancer (June 21 – July 22) Don’t let people tell you that you are crazy. Your reality is just different. Leo (July 23 – August 22) We like the way you think. It’s almost like you don’t. Virgo (August 23 – September 22) Legally, It’s questionable. Morally, It’s disgusting. Personally, the Rats love it. Libra (September 23 – October 22) SPOILER ALERT: Rotting lettuce, back of the fridge, right side. Scorpio (October 23 – November 21) Today you will just have to ask yourself, “What would a competent person do?” Sagittarius (November 22 – December 21) Every bridge you drive over was built by the lowest bidder.]]]]> ]]>

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