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Just Plain Fun

Horoscopes for April 28, 2011

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If today is your birthday: It’s your birthday! Enjoy your cake. (What? We can too be nice!) Capricorn (December 22 – January 20) The only way you will ever be happy is to pack up and move to Brooklyn. Sure it will be a culture shock, you you are strong. Plus we think you could stand to be knocked down a few notches, and nothing does that like being a small lost child. Aquarius (January 21 – February 18) We have tried and failed to make a connection with the forces that control your future. Good Luck? Pisces (February 19 – March 20) You will realize that you have been very active during the time when you should be sleeping. You will awake to a nice bowl of river rocks covered in ranch dressing. And you live 5 miles from the river. No wonder you’ve been so tired. Aries (March 21 – April 19) The word for the day is melodramatic. Everyone around you will be trying out for some play or something. Everything should be back to normal tomorrow. What ever normal means. Taurus (April 20 – May 20) You will have a strange craving for tomato sandwiches. Gemini (May 21 – June 20) Fear of the unknown will plague you today. You need to spend some quality time with Google. Cancer (June 21 – July 22) There is no way to break this to you gently: Shower, already. Leo (July 23 – August 22) Have fun explaining your new tattoo. Virgo (August 23 – September 22) The only think that stands between you and happiness is years and years of therapy. Libra (September 23 – October 22) When you feel disconnected with the earth today, run around in circles until you fall down. That will make you feel closer. We guarantee it. Scorpio (October 23 – November 21) Pick up an extra gallon of milk. You’ll thank us later. Sagittarius (November 22 – December 21) To hell with the consequences! Be your own person! March to the beat of your own Drummer! Plead to the judge for leniency!]]]]> ]]>

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