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Just Plain Fun

Horoscopes for April 26, 2011

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If today is your birthday: It’s your birthday! Wheeeee! Capricorn (December 22 – January 20) Be brave! You can endure this trial. Aquarius (January 21 – February 18) The wagons are circling. This is your opportunity to make your move. It’s now or never. Pisces (February 19 – March 20) If, after reading this, you are not a true believer, you never will be. Aries (March 21 – April 19) Try as hard as you might you will not be able to open that jar of mayo. Now your day is ruined. You will have to eat naked, dry bread sandwiches! Taurus (April 20 – May 20) Have the best day that you can have, under the circumstances. Gemini (May 21 – June 20) Little blue men from outer space will visit you today. Do not be alarmed. These are the same space people you grew up hearing about. Everyone was just wrong on the skin color. Hard to get all the details right while you are being probed. Cancer (June 21 – July 22) You will have a dream about being a farmeress. You will grow fond of your new pink tractor. Putting around, moving hay bales and being in charge of important tasks. If you are a dude, don’t worry. We are positive all the guys would be envious of your new ride, should you choose to fulfill your dreams. Leo (July 23 – August 22) Chicken Little says that the sky is falling, NOW! You can rely on Chicken Little. We know that he has been wrong in the past, but he’s been taking lessons in psychic ability from the most ancient and oldest of our rat prophets. Virgo (August 23 – September 22) Rabid Rabbits will run rampant. Rampaging, wreaking havoc, rabble rousing. Ready everyone. Libra (September 23 – October 22) Today is the day to tout your overwhelming success in your new job to all of your family. It has to be today, though. Cousin Beverly will be home tomorrow. You know that she is perfect in every way and Rocks the Casbah harder than anyone…ever. Scorpio (October 23 – November 21) Put on a happy face! We know how hard this will be. Considering all the bad news that will be heading your way later this afternoon. Sagittarius (November 22 – December 21) You are the apple of our eye. And an apple a day keeps the doctor away. But apples are so juicy and we are sooo hungry. You will now be know as the apple of our tummy.]]]]> ]]>

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