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Just Plain Fun

Horoscopes for April 23, 2011

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If today is your birthday: It’s your birthday! Celebrate by getting a tattoo. Yes, we are sure this is a good idea. Have we ever steered you wrong? Capricorn (December 22 – January 20) Once in a while you need to kick back, relax, let your hair down and prop up your feet. Whoa! we didn’t say take your shoes off! Boy, that’ll spoil the mood. Aquarius (January 21 – February 18) This is the day that you have been waiting your whole life for. The day that you have been preparing for. Take your Mom’s advice and make sure you wear clean drawers. Pisces (February 19 – March 20) We have searched high and low to find the perfect advice to fit your unique situation. This is what we came up with: You are special, indeed. No one else on earth feels the same way. Aries (March 21 – April 19) Go forth and create wonderful things. Taurus (April 20 – May 20) He said you would respond this way. We do not care. We aren’t budging. Gemini (May 21 – June 20) Many a harvest moons shall pass before your wish comes true. Cancer (June 21 – July 22) Be yourself. Nobody is looking anyway. Leo (July 23 – August 22) Evey time you close your eyes you will be haunted by all of the little rats. We can not guarantee success in curing you of this affliction, but money will help. We would prefer small unmarked bills. Virgo (August 23 – September 22) Hop around like the Easter Bunny all day. It will endear you to small children for when you are ready to assemble your army. Libra (September 23 – October 22) Today is the first day of the rest of your life. You are like a newborn babe. That’s a good excuse to lay around and get waited on hand and foot. You should draw the line at diaper changes though. Scorpio (October 23 – November 21) Remember the Golden Rule today. When you want to choke the living daylights out of every idiot driver. If you don’t mind a giant SUV plowing into the side of your tiny Toyota, then go right ahead. Sagittarius (November 22 – December 21) Forget about everything you were taught in school. WOW! Maybe you are the one that is psychic, cause you already did that part.]]]]> ]]>

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