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Just Plain Fun

Horoscopes for April 19, 2011

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If today is your birthday: It’s your birthday! Don’t celebrate too much. You may get drunk and tell everyone your actual age. Capricorn (December 22 – January 20) We are sorry but your horoscope can not be completed as requested. You can lodge a complaint by clicking here. Aquarius (January 21 – February 18) Redrum. Pisces (February 19 – March 20) You can cry all you want to. We are done giving into your childish ways. Go ahead bang your head against the wall, see if we care. Aries (March 21 – April 19) Pack your bags and go on vacation. That’s how we celebrated getting fired. Taurus (April 20 – May 20) Believe in the power of idiots gathering in large groups. Gemini (May 21 – June 20) Have you heard? Cancer (June 21 – July 22) Brave men will cower at your feet. We don’t want to spoil the surprise, but you will make the news! Leo (July 23 – August 22) When you feel like giving up, don’t. We are sure that you can struggle through at least one more day of the wretched existence. Virgo (August 23 – September 22) In case of emergency, totally freak out. Somebody else will handle the serious stuff. Libra (September 23 – October 22) Your coworkers are planning a huge surprise party for your next birthday. Scorpio (October 23 – November 21) Stop procrastinating. Sagittarius (November 22 – December 21) We believe in the power of positive thinking. And we are positive that we think that shirt is the ugliest thing we have ever seen.]]]]> ]]>

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