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Just Plain Fun

Horoscopes for April 1, 2011

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If today is your birthday: It’s your birthday! You’re in a phase when it makes sense to be a little extra selfish and eager to bend the world to meet your needs. But according to our analysis, it’s crucial that you do this politely and graciously. Aries (March 21 – April 19) It’s high time to work creatively and appreciatively with what nature has given you, not try to force it to accommodate some soulless desire. Taurus (April 20 – May 20) While it’s true that this might be one of those times that the visionary poet William Blake was referring to when he said, “The road of excess leads to the palace of wisdom,” please take care you don’t end up slobbering face-down in the gutter without any pants on halfway along the road of excess. Remember the goal: to actually reach the palace of wisdom. Gemini (May 21 – June 20) It’s possible that sour fury could be useful to you at other times, but right now you should avoid it. If you want your intelligence to work at peak efficiency in the coming days, you’ll need long stretches of tender, lucid calm. Cancer (June 21 – July 22) You know yourself much better, and are smarter about providing yourself with what you need, when you need it. You have gained access to enormous new reserves of willpower, in part by harnessing the energy of your obsessive tendencies. Leo (July 23 – August 22) It’s high time for you to officially and definitively rise from the dead. Your wandering in the underworld is at an end. Your mourning for broken dreams should be complete. April begins your age of exploration; make sure your reborn spunk is ready for action. Virgo (August 23 – September 22) You will be invited to dramatically expand your understanding of the nature of commitment. You will also be asked to dig deeper to discover your real desires, which up until now have been partially camouflaged by more superficial longings that were grafted onto you during the darker days of adolescence. Libra (September 23 – October 22) As you survey your version of the mud flat, ignore anyone who tells you that it’s barren. Go searching for the rich pickings. Scorpio (October 23 – November 21) Push hard to get better, become smarter, grow your devotion to the truth, fuel your commitment to beauty, refine your emotional intelligence, hone your dreams, negotiate with your shadow, cure your ignorance, shed your pettiness, heighten your drive to look for the best in people, and soften your heart—even as you always accept yourself for exactly who you are with all of your so-called imperfections. Sagittarius (November 22 – December 21) These are the rewards promised you at the beginning of time: not just any old beauty, wisdom, goodness, love, freedom, and justice, but rather exhilarating beauty that incites you to be true to yourself; crazy wisdom that immunizes you against the temptation to believe your ideals are ultimate truths; outrageous goodness that inspires you to experiment with irrepressible empathy; generous freedom that keeps you alert for opportunities to share your wealth; insurrectionary love that endlessly transforms you; and a lust for justice that’s leavened with a knack for comedy, keeping you honest as you work humbly to liberate everyone in the world from ignorance and suffering. Capricorn (December 22 – January 20) Your task, as we see it, is to set in order everything that can be set in order. Get very organized. Make sure you’re well-rehearsed. Be warmed up and highly alert. That way you’ll be ready to respond with graceful intensity when serendipitous opportunities arise within the framework you’ve put in place. Aquarius (January 21 – February 18) One of your top accomplishments in the past year is the way you have united parts of yourself that had not previously been very well connected. It seems you decided that you were tired of being split up into fragmented sub-personalities that had different agendas. Somehow you managed to convince them all to work together in a common cause. We’re quite impressed with the new spirit of cooperation that’s at work in your depths. We predict it will lead to an unprecedented singleness of purpose before the end of the summer. Pisces (February 19 – March 20) We hope you’ve started to realize how much you have to offer as a role model, mentor, and guide. Amazingly, this is a year when you can generate unpredictable magic as both a student and a teacher.]]]]> ]]>

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